Experts say the path to wellness begins with forgiving and forgetting. However, you may very well wonder, “How do you go about truly forgiving someone when they’ve grievously hurt you?”

If you’re willing and able to work on your emotional focus and release any desire for revenge, you have an honest chance of attaining your objective. While the memory of what was done will remain with you, you can still “forget” by putting the past behind you and moving forward.

Four vital steps to be able forgive and forget:

1. Acceptance. The first step to forgiving and forgetting is accepting that you’ve been wronged. You must accept what has happened and find a way to live with it. Acceptance is the starting point for moving your life forward in a positive direction.
2. Healing. It’s important to give yourself adequate time to heal. The amount of time you need to experience relief from your pain varies; each person heals differently.
   If possible, you may want to try to limit your time with the person that hurt you while you reflect and heal.‚
3. Revitalize your relationship. All relationships, whether romantic or completely platonic, need nurturing in order to thrive. If you ignore nurturing your relationship for too long because you’re upset, it’s likely to wither away.
   Once you’ve begun to experience the fruits of your healing process, begin spending time together. Go out for dinner, hang around your house or just spend a day together at the park. The location is of little importance, but the company is essential to revitalizing your relationship.
4. Rebuilding trust. This should be done simultaneously while revitalizing your relationship. The person that hurt you should be working diligently towards making you feel secure in trusting them once again. Be open to their love, affection, and attempts to rectify their wrongs. If you hold a grudge, you may be stuck in this rut for a lifetime.
   It’s also important to let the other party involved, especially if it’s your spouse, know that it’s okay to trust you. If their mistake was brutal enough, they’re likely expecting you to reciprocate and get revenge. Make an honest effort to reassure them that you wish to reconcile and start anew.

To move forward, you must be willing to let go of everything you once thought was true and form a new reality together. This is the foundation for truly forgiving and forgetting.

But in this case, it takes two to tango. Both you and the other party involved must be willing to make an honest effort. Though it may seem unfair to ask you to make an effort when you’re the one that’s been wronged, this is the price you pay for freeing yourself from those toxic shackles.

People do change. Trust can be restored if both parties in the relationship are willing to work at it. While the healing process may take time, two people who are willing to reconcile and consistently seek each other’s happiness will experience that happiness for themselves and an intimate relationship that will withstand the test of time.

photo credit: darkpatator

You can earn respect from the people you interact with every day. The actions you take each day do make a difference.

Use these ideas to command and receive the respect you know you deserve:

Carry yourself in a respectable manner.

Act in a manner that communicates to others that you should be taken seriously. Consider your conduct and act with tact in all circumstances.

• Carry yourself with pride. Act in a way that would make your parents proud of you.
• Refrain from taking part in something that you tell your children not to do.
• When you’re a highly regarded person, people will automatically respect you. If you need to verbally ask for respect from others, either you’re dealing with an immature person, or behaving in ways that cause others to respect you less.

Follow the golden rule.

• Treat others with respect and they’ll treat you according to the tone you’ve set.
• Understand that everyone has boundaries that they expect you to respect. If you cross them intentionally, you’re digging your own hole.
• If someone treats you wrongfully, reciprocate with grace and kindness. Be mature; walk away. By doing so, others will perceive you in a positive light and respond in your favor.

Start weeding.

It’s important to realize that some people simply think that they’re above any moral laws. These types of people will do what they want, when they want and blurt out the thoughts in their mind with total disregard to the emotions of anyone else.

Weed these toxic people out of your life. You are your very first priority. If you allow yourself to be treated unfairly by others, you’re broadcasting that it’s okay to treat you like a doormat.

Conduct yourself with class.

• Keep your head above the water in sticky situations. A calm conversation often serves your interests better than lashing out in anger.
• Always speak positively about your friends. You’ll be admired as someone who refuses to gossip and win the trust of others.
• Make it a point to be aware of your actions and reactions, and think before you speak. When you do, you’re indirectly commanding the respect that you deserve.

Being  realistic.

If you’re trying to be on equal footing with your elders or higher-ups in your company, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. It’s important to understand that there will always be a group of people that are above you in a certain sense. And it’s necessary to treat them with respect.

There’s an unspoken rule in social and corporate ranking systems. The older you are, the more respect you deserve from society. The higher you are within the company, the more respect you command.

Just remember that one day it’ll be your turn.

Achieving more.

If you’re promoted within your company for your high work ethic, or receive your PhD, your achievements warrant respect from others. Outstanding achievements are praised and respected.

Consider continuing your education. It’ll boost your self-esteem, income, and career achievements. Plus, it will make others respect your dedication in achieving excellence.

Remember, the easiest way to command respect from everyone around you is to be an honorable person. Hold yourself and your actions to a high standard, and others will inherently be aware of the good person that you truly are.

photo credit: B.S. Wise

With 2010 on the way out and new 2011 coming in, it’s important that you celebrate in moderation. It’s great to have fun, and there are plenty of safe things you can do to start the New Year out right. Strive to help your family and friends have a fun, safe New Year, as well.

Consider these options for safely ringing in the New Year with pizzazz:

1. Host a party for your friends and family members. When you have them at your home, they’ll avoid being out where there are drunk drivers and other hazards. Keep them safe by keeping them close to you.
   If your guests drink, make plans for them to stay the night so they won’t be drinking and then driving home. If you don’t have enough beds, have everyone bring sleeping bags and pillows. You’ll all be happier for it in the morning, safe and sound!
2. Volunteer somewhere on New Year’s Eve. There are a lot of people who are less fortunate than you. You can do something nice for them by just being there and showing them that they matter. This will start the New Year out with warm feelings for both of you!
3. Donate to a favorite charity instead of spending money on something frivolous to bring in the New Year. You can have a quiet night in. You’ll feel good in the morning and someone else will benefit from your generosity.
4. Figure out your goals and plans for the New Year. Preparing a budget, making a “bucket list” or spending time in quiet contemplation are all great ways to start the New Year out right without a lot of money, effort, or anxiety.

There’s nothing wrong with going out on New Year’s Eve, but that’s one night in which it’s far safer to stay home. And your children or friends will thank you for simply being there with them. Reminiscing with friends about the great times you’ve had together can help you look forward to what the New Year will bring.

The New Year Awaits You

One good reason to have a safe New Year’s Eve is that the New Year is waiting for you! Start it with energy and vitality by making safe choices that leave you ready for a fresh start. Start the New Year with enthusiasm for all it has to offer you and joy for the fact that you’re still around to experience more of what life has to offer.

Let go of past hurts and disappointments. Sure, they might have been upsetting, but they’re in the past now. You can move forward in a new direction instead of letting them cloud your future. Keep your heart open for joy, peace, love, and adventure.

When you allow the good things of life into your heart, it’s much easier to move forward as challenges arise. Even the happiest people struggle sometimes, but being well-prepared for everything means that you’ll have a much higher chance of staying happy and moving into the New Year with grace, hope and positive expectancy.

The Law of Attraction and Your Personal Relationships

Your personal relationships are vital to your happiness. You do not want to fill your life with hate and people that bring you down. You in fact want to keep the people that make you happiest and give you the motivation that you are looking for in life.  When you are serious about having a good relationship with someone you need to use the law of attraction to make it work.

The law of attraction is going to show you how to have fun with those around you.  When you are looking for someone to share your feeling with and to laugh and love with you want to use the law of attraction to find just the right person.  There are so many differences in people and sometimes this is not a bad thing.  When you are looking to make a relationship better, you will need to make sure that you are doing everything to be more motivated with your personal relationships.

The Law of Attraction Can Help You in Your Personal Life

Listen to your inner feelings. When you are listening to your instincts, you will feel more confident in the decisions that you are making.  You have to be confident in who you are and what you want in life.  Being prepared for life and all that can come your way is important.  Figure out what you want and then go for it.  Letting the law of attraction help you be more successful in your personal life will be one way to get to where you need to be.

Believe in who you are and what you do in life.  There are so many things that you can do to ensure that you are happy with your relationships.  If you find
yourself in a bad relationship that makes you feel uncomfortable, you need to think about the law of attraction and what it can do for you.  Being confident in what you deserve is important. You need to remember that you are valuable and that you deserve the very best.  Get out there and make your life just what you want and so much more.

Figure out what you want to change if anything about your personal relationships.  Is everything, as you want it to be?  Are there problems that make it hard for you to love the person that you are in a relationship with?  Never settle for anything less than what you deserve.  You are the only one that is in control of your life and the relationships that you are in.  Be composed and in control of your life.  This is going to make you feel great and give you the encouragement that you need to be happy in life with your personal relationships.

Remember that you are the only one that can make decisions for yourself.  You need to know that you are the one that knows what is best for you.  The law of attraction is going to help you figure out who you are and what you need in life.  This law is going to be something that shows you how to be more confident in what you do and who you are.  When you are positive all the time and think about the things that you want it is going to give you strength that is needed to make your personal life better and more fulfilled.

It is important to have healthy relationships in life.  This means that the law of attraction will be there for you and give you the support that you need to make good decisions about your personal relationships.

photo credit: Nick Smarto, Laura Borges-Ribeiro

Everyone falls into certain patterns that are comfortable. But, by breaking out of your comfort zone every so often, you’ll experience a sense of newness in your relationship.

It’s important to seek out that certain spark you felt when you first got together with your partner. Those feelings are still there, you just might need to be creative in finding ways to bring them out again.

Here are some ways that you can reignite the passion in your relationships:

1. Go out of your way. Remember at the beginning of your relationship how you would go out of your way to make your partner extra happy? Make these efforts again! It’ll surprise your partner and be a reminder about how much you love them.

* It doesn’t have to be an everyday thing, but everyone deserves a little “above and beyond” treatment!

2. Show your gratitude. You often think to yourself how grateful you are that your partner did something for you, and it’s important to let your partner know of your gratitude, too.

* You can do this through better communication and positive actions. Many times a simple, “Thank you for…” statement will let him know how much you appreciate his efforts.

3. Be considerate. Sometimes your partner is the only one who will allow you to be blunt and abrupt. It’s important to vent, but remember to act considerate around your partner as much as you can.

4. Spend time alone together. Everyone is busy, but you need to make the extra effort to have alone time together. It’s still important to make dates with each other and do things you’ve never done before.

5. Show affection. There are certainly ways to show your affection for your partner beyond bedroom activities. Show your love for each other with gentle touches and hugs. Snuggle together on the couch and just enjoy the closeness.

6. Seek adventure. Everyone has his or her own definition of adventure. You and your partner may even find different things adventurous. Do some of these activities together. Engaging in exhilarating activities can certainly ignite the passion.

7. Enjoy your own alone time. On the other side of the coin, it’s a good idea to spend time away from your partner as well. Everyone needs space at times. Also, time apart can build up the anticipation for some of the things you may have planned with your partner.

8. Share your goals. Keep an open conversation with your partner about your future plans. Things may not always go according to plan, but it’s good to talk about your dreams and goals.

* While it’s fun to discuss what things were like at the beginning of your relationship, it’s also enjoyable to discuss where you think things are going.

9. Surprise! Surprise your partner with a gift. It doesn’t have to be something expensive; in fact, you could even make it yourself. Just explore some thoughtful ideas that will let your partner know that you care about them.

You’ll find passion in your relationship as long as you make an effort to break up the monotony. Communicate well, spend time together, and explore new activities together. When you do, you’ll discover the keys to a successful passionate relationship.

If you’re unhappy and emotionally drained after a break up, you might not be feeling too optimistic about throwing yourself back out there. However, opening yourself up to new opportunities is the only way you’re going to reach the happiness you seek.

The best thing you can do is to educate yourself well enough to know what to look for and what to avoid. It’s not a fail-proof plan, but by following certain strategies, you can increase your chances of a lasting relationship.

Try taking these actions to avoid negative relationships:

1. Avoid falling back on the wrong person. If you’re feeling particularly lonely, you may feel the urge to fall back on someone that’s not right for you. Deep down you know that this person is not “the one” and yet you come crawling back anyway trying to convince yourself that maybe the person can change. Chances are, they won’t.

2. Spend time getting to know your partner. Focus on getting to know your partner first before getting too serious in the relationship. Try to have some of the heavy conversations near the beginning of the relationship. This way if you hit major snags you can either decide to work through it or move on quickly.

3. Learn your partner’s history. Are there disturbing events in his or her past? It’s clearly best to avoid people who have a history of violence or intense addiction. If they do and you choose to proceed with the relationship, be extra cautious and set the ground rules from the beginning.

4. Avoid manipulative people. You might not realize it at first, but if you find that you’re being manipulated often, it can prove to be a serious drain on your relationship. If your partner is controlling and always has a selfish motive for their actions, it isn’t the best relationship to be in. Recognize these red flags when you see them and get out before you get too attached.

5. Make a checklist. Take some time to make a list of the qualities you’d like to see in a partner. Include qualities you like as well as qualities that you dislike. This checklist will help you determine whether the relationship is right for you. Here’s a tip: avoid writing down superficial characteristics such as looks. First and foremost, you must be attracted to his or her personality because the superficial things can and will change as you age.

Relationships can be difficult; it’s just a reality of human nature. The fact that many relationships end shouldn’t have any impact on your hope for the future. There are plenty of people out there that will be a good match, so it’s okay to avoid relationships that sap your soul.

Remember: you do have a choice! Focus on finding the right partner for you and then take action to make it the positive relationship you’ve always dreamed of!

Do you tend to attract more negative relationships than positive? Though we strive to develop good, solid, and happy relationships, it seems we sometimes end up with exactly the opposite. Wouldn’t you love to attract more positive relationships? The good news is, you can!

Try some of these simple tips to enjoy more positive relationships in your life:

1.Patience. Wonderful relationships don’t occur overnight. They take time to nurture and develop into something that’s long lasting. To allow these relationships into your life, you must have the patience to let them grow.

When you begin a relationship that you perceive as being a positive one, don’t rush it. You may be very pleased to see what develops down the road.

2.Believe that you’re deserving of it. Be positive and avoid negative feelings or perceptions about yourself. Know that you deserve to have happy, stable relationships in your life.

If you begin to think negatively, you must turn these negative thoughts around immediately. Clear your mind and regain your self-confidence.

Remember, positive attracts positive. When you think positive thoughts, you’ll be rewarded with positive results.

You’ll ultimately attract positive relationships into your life with the positive energy you’re giving off to others. So be a good example of the friend or partner you look to attract!

3.Be true to yourself and others. If you’re not true to yourself, whether you believe it or not, others will sense this. Don’t try to be something that you’re not; this is a negative way of portraying yourself to others.

As mentioned before, positive attracts positive, but negative attracts negative as well. Show others your true self, including your flaws. They’ll appreciate your open and willing heart and be able to form a strong bond with you more easily.

Be genuine to others and allow them to see your true feelings and personality. Trying too hard to act like someone else could lead to embarrassment for you.

4.Don’t take relationships for granted. Remember to always give thanks for the valuable relationships in your life. They may not be as numerous as you’d like, but rather than complaining, be thankful for the ones you have now and have had in the past.

By professing your gratitude genuinely, you’ll have an easier time attracting future positive relationships.

5.Be honest. If you’re in a negative relationship right now, that will tend to keep positive relationships from coming into your life. Be honest with yourself and others. Make a conscious decision to either improve that relationship or end it.

Honesty will pave the way for more positive, trusting relationships to enter your life.

As the old saying goes, “Nothing worth having in life comes easily.” Attracting positive relationships – and weeding out the negative ones – may not be an easy task, but it’ll make for a better and more fulfilling life.