photo credit: dickuhne

Have you wronged someone else, and now you wish to make it right? Apologies can be awkward and uncomfortable, but a good apology communicates a willingness to admit your mistakes and be a better person. It also shows that you value the relationship and want to ensure that there are no hard feelings between you.

Even if you don’t feel like the situation was your fault, asking for forgiveness for your part in the argument may be the quickest way to smooth things over and save your relationship. A well-delivered apology can soothe hurt feelings and draw others closer to you. So, how can you express regret in a way that benefits you?

Finding the Right Words

Just saying that you’re sorry may be enough if it’s sincere. If you’ve really hurt a person’s feelings, though, you might want to say more. How long should your apology be? It should last as long as it takes to communicate sincerity and honesty.

The most important part of any apology is sincerity. Others can tell when your words are insincere. And an insincere apology usually makes the situation worse.

Express a willingness to accept your part of the blame. Some words you can use are:

• I’m sorry.

• I apologize.

• Please forgive me.

• I know I’ve wronged you.

• I hate that this has come between us.

• What can I do to make things right?

• Can we talk out our differences?

• Please let me explain.

If you open the conversation this way, you demonstrate that you truly want to make things better. Swallowing your pride and admitting that you’ve wronged someone is easier than you think. Most will be receptive to your desire to repair the relationship and respond in a way that brings healing to both of you.

Find an Opportune Time to Apologize

The timing of your apology is critical. Take a time when the other person isn’t rushed. Even the most careful apology will fall on deaf ears if it is delivered at a time when the other person is hurried and focused on something else.

Ideally, make an appointment. Let them know that you have something important to discuss at their convenience. That way, you’re more likely to receive their undivided attention and have better results with your apology.

Be flexible and work around the other person’s schedule. Your willingness to be inconvenienced to accommodate the other person’s schedule is an important first step in communicating that you are sincere in your apology.

Show that you mean what you say, and follow it up with actions that demonstrate the truthfulness of your words. Actions speak louder than words, and what you do shortly after your apology can do more to heal your relationship than any words you can say.

Hurt feelings are an unfortunate part of the important relationships in your life. Thankfully, a thoughtful apology that considers the other person’s viewpoint can heal wounds that are caused by your mistakes. If you follow through with actions that show your sincerity, you stand an excellent chance of success in repairing the relationship and even making it stronger than ever before!

Everyone falls into certain patterns that are comfortable. But, by breaking out of your comfort zone every so often, you’ll experience a sense of newness in your relationship.

It’s important to seek out that certain spark you felt when you first got together with your partner. Those feelings are still there, you just might need to be creative in finding ways to bring them out again.

Here are some ways that you can reignite the passion in your relationships:

1. Go out of your way. Remember at the beginning of your relationship how you would go out of your way to make your partner extra happy? Make these efforts again! It’ll surprise your partner and be a reminder about how much you love them.

* It doesn’t have to be an everyday thing, but everyone deserves a little “above and beyond” treatment!

2. Show your gratitude. You often think to yourself how grateful you are that your partner did something for you, and it’s important to let your partner know of your gratitude, too.

* You can do this through better communication and positive actions. Many times a simple, “Thank you for…” statement will let him know how much you appreciate his efforts.

3. Be considerate. Sometimes your partner is the only one who will allow you to be blunt and abrupt. It’s important to vent, but remember to act considerate around your partner as much as you can.

4. Spend time alone together. Everyone is busy, but you need to make the extra effort to have alone time together. It’s still important to make dates with each other and do things you’ve never done before.

5. Show affection. There are certainly ways to show your affection for your partner beyond bedroom activities. Show your love for each other with gentle touches and hugs. Snuggle together on the couch and just enjoy the closeness.

6. Seek adventure. Everyone has his or her own definition of adventure. You and your partner may even find different things adventurous. Do some of these activities together. Engaging in exhilarating activities can certainly ignite the passion.

7. Enjoy your own alone time. On the other side of the coin, it’s a good idea to spend time away from your partner as well. Everyone needs space at times. Also, time apart can build up the anticipation for some of the things you may have planned with your partner.

8. Share your goals. Keep an open conversation with your partner about your future plans. Things may not always go according to plan, but it’s good to talk about your dreams and goals.

* While it’s fun to discuss what things were like at the beginning of your relationship, it’s also enjoyable to discuss where you think things are going.

9. Surprise! Surprise your partner with a gift. It doesn’t have to be something expensive; in fact, you could even make it yourself. Just explore some thoughtful ideas that will let your partner know that you care about them.

You’ll find passion in your relationship as long as you make an effort to break up the monotony. Communicate well, spend time together, and explore new activities together. When you do, you’ll discover the keys to a successful passionate relationship.

Because my love adds joy and meaning to my life, I embrace it and keep it constant. I do not allow silly arguments to question our foundation.

I openly communicate with my partner about my thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. I let go of the need to hurt my spouse or to prove myself right and, instead, focus on simply expressing how the situation made me feel. I always aim for understanding, not revenge.

I recognize that there are always at least two points of view in any conflict, and I take the time to listen to the other side. I have let go of the need to have the last word and I am satisfied if we both feel that we have been heard, even if we haven’t yet reached an amicable solution.

I make it a point to affirm my partner’s value. I also show that I am trustworthy by who I choose to confide in when we are at odds. I choose to avoid gossip and, instead, focus on achieving peace through positive solutions.

I let the little things go. Life is far more important than the way we squeeze the toothpaste tube or where we throw our socks. I invest in our relationship by allowing my partner to be quirky and human, just like me!

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. What is my goal when I am discussing issues with my partner?
2. Does my partner feel heard when we are in conflict?
3. Do I confide in people without gossiping?

Do you tend to attract more negative relationships than positive? Though we strive to develop good, solid, and happy relationships, it seems we sometimes end up with exactly the opposite. Wouldn’t you love to attract more positive relationships? The good news is, you can!

Try some of these simple tips to enjoy more positive relationships in your life:

1.Patience. Wonderful relationships don’t occur overnight. They take time to nurture and develop into something that’s long lasting. To allow these relationships into your life, you must have the patience to let them grow.

When you begin a relationship that you perceive as being a positive one, don’t rush it. You may be very pleased to see what develops down the road.

2.Believe that you’re deserving of it. Be positive and avoid negative feelings or perceptions about yourself. Know that you deserve to have happy, stable relationships in your life.

If you begin to think negatively, you must turn these negative thoughts around immediately. Clear your mind and regain your self-confidence.

Remember, positive attracts positive. When you think positive thoughts, you’ll be rewarded with positive results.

You’ll ultimately attract positive relationships into your life with the positive energy you’re giving off to others. So be a good example of the friend or partner you look to attract!

3.Be true to yourself and others. If you’re not true to yourself, whether you believe it or not, others will sense this. Don’t try to be something that you’re not; this is a negative way of portraying yourself to others.

As mentioned before, positive attracts positive, but negative attracts negative as well. Show others your true self, including your flaws. They’ll appreciate your open and willing heart and be able to form a strong bond with you more easily.

Be genuine to others and allow them to see your true feelings and personality. Trying too hard to act like someone else could lead to embarrassment for you.

4.Don’t take relationships for granted. Remember to always give thanks for the valuable relationships in your life. They may not be as numerous as you’d like, but rather than complaining, be thankful for the ones you have now and have had in the past.

By professing your gratitude genuinely, you’ll have an easier time attracting future positive relationships.

5.Be honest. If you’re in a negative relationship right now, that will tend to keep positive relationships from coming into your life. Be honest with yourself and others. Make a conscious decision to either improve that relationship or end it.

Honesty will pave the way for more positive, trusting relationships to enter your life.

As the old saying goes, “Nothing worth having in life comes easily.” Attracting positive relationships – and weeding out the negative ones – may not be an easy task, but it’ll make for a better and more fulfilling life.

The time with my family is precious to me. I cherish every moment I am with them and use our time together to strengthen our relationship through love, gratitude, and support.

I refuse to over-schedule myself or allow myself to become too busy in life. By balancing my time, I can give attention to myself and relax. I am better able to focus on each area of my life and give everything my very best.

When I balance my time effectively, my work improves, my family is respected, and I feel happier and healthier.

In my schedule, I include time for self-reflection. This enables me to grow and improve. I also give a high priority to me time and relaxation in my daily plan. My life is richer because of the quality time I give myself.

I give myself this time because I am worth it and everything in my life is made better when I am good to myself.

Today, I focus on creating a schedule that is right for me. Self-reflection and relaxation are priorities in my life so I can have leisure time to spend with my loved ones. I intend to enjoy my day fully and truly experience each moment.

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Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Have I created me time in my schedule?

2. How do I typically over-extend myself?

3. Have I taken the time to sit back and enjoy the day?

Loving someone unconditionally can be hard to do and goes against the grain you were probably taught in today’s Western society. Society tells you to get even or get revenge. However, to love unconditionally requires forgiveness and letting go of the wrongs.

So How Do You Love Unconditionally?

What’s required to show someone unconditional love when you’re in a relationship? Being there physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, through thick and thin, no matter what may happen is unconditional love.

• Physically: Being “there” for someone physically means just what the word implies. You’re there for them in person, standing by their side, listening to them, or talking with them so they’re not alone. This may be at three in the afternoon, or three in the morning!

• Emotionally: When you’re with someone emotionally, you’re offering your support by allowing them to honestly and openly express their feeling. Supporting someone emotionally with unconditional love also means that you’re there selflessly to help them work through their feelings. The goal is for the person to rise above the negative emotions and turn them into positive ones. You’re the shoulder to cry on!

• Mentally: Supporting a loved one mentally means that you help them think through their actions, motives, and desires. You help them do this by finding out what’s going on inside. To support someone mentally requires you to help your loved one process their thoughts through to all possible outcomes.
  

• Spiritually: Spiritually supporting a loved one means you pray for and with them and help them grow in all aspects of their life – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Often spiritual support is given without a person being aware, through prayer.

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Unconditional love does not mean, however, giving into every whim or desire. Often people confuse unconditional love with spoiling. Giving into a person’s every want or desire when it isn’t appropriate can actually harm their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well being. For example, giving into your kid’s demands for junk food may make them happy today, but it isn’t a good source of nourishment in the long run.

Letting Go

True love is shown when you try to help another become a better person and unconditional love is shown when you still love them even if they refuse to change.

Many times it’s necessary to “let go” of a loved one, while still loving them unconditionally, because they refuse to take the necessary steps to improve. An example of this would be an alcoholic or drug addict. You still love the person, but when they refuse to work at overcoming their addiction or don’t care about themselves or who they’re hurting, you must let go. Sometimes this means, letting them spiral down until they hit rock bottom. Often you get hurt in the process because you love them and don’t want to see them go down this road, so loving unconditionally also means that you’ll be there for them when they’re ready to try again.

Love isn’t an emotion or feeling – it’s a choice. This is especially true with unconditional love. In relationships, you show unconditional love by overlooking petty mistakes and forgoing judgment and grudges. Unconditional love requires self-sacrifice and forgiveness on your part and it’s through unconditional love that those you care about will change for the better.